The practice of a man asking her father for his blessing or permission to marry his daughter came to mind recently. I know there are still men who do it, but undoubtedly not nearly as common as it once was. I know a lot of people view it as a sign of respect to the woman’s parents, and some women like the idea that their parents like the guy she’s involved with enough to give them their permission even if the act doesn’t carry the same weight it once did years ago.
I say it doesn’t carry the same weight as it did years ago because today it’s more of a formality. If the father were to hypothetically say, “no”, it wouldn’t necessarily prevent the couple from getting engaged. Back in the old days, it would have been more likely to prevent the engagement than it does today.
Personally I don’t like the practice. I find it to be sexist and outdated. A remnant of the olden days when women were viewed as property, first by their fathers, then their husbands. Marriages back then were just another business transaction between men. In some cultures it still is… marriages are still arranged in those cultures.
So while I would like it if parents of the woman I loved and wanted to marry liked me and were eager to have me become a part of their family, I wouldn’t ever ask their permission. I believe the woman is in control of her own live and capable or deciding for herself whether or not she’d want to marry me and if she truly loves me she’d do it regardless of whether or not her parents accepted it. Your parents don’t have to live with your spouse. They don’t have to have sex with them. Therefore it shouldn’t matter if they like who you’re marrying or not. It’s just a bonus. It’s a bonus that would make family gatherings more tolerable but it’s better that your parents don’t like your spouse than it is if YOU don’t. The only exception I can see to this is if the potential future husband is a dangerous person who could and possibly would cause harm to their daughter. Even then it’s still not their decision, but in that case I could totally understand their interference.
However, I have nothing against giving a woman’s parents a heads up and letting them know that you intend to marry their daughter. Telling someone what you intend to do and asking them for their permission are 2 different things.
Lone Wolf